Saturday, September 15, 2007
On the Loose hits shelves this week. I know, I know there will be lines and people camping out at midnight Monday night, but please, no fights. And share those candy bars and "waiting-all-night" snacks. It stresses me and J.K. Rowling out when our mobs of eager readers get violent. But we do understand.
So ask your local booksellers for the book. (Say, "You know--On the Loose. By Jenny B. Jones. I think it's up for a Pulitzer? No? Well, all I know is Oprah will NOT leave this poor lady alone.")
Ask your librarians to order it. ("You don't have her books? And you call yourselves a library! No, I don't want to read the latest Grisham novel. I want Katie Parker. Is it just me or does this reek of censorship?").
Ask your friend of a friend of a friend of a second-cousin who knows the Wal-Mart or Sam's book buyer ("If you don't stock her books in bulk, I will buy myself a Sam's Choice water and lay down on this floor and scream like a two year old.")
Let's let's blow up some sales and get the message out there. Um...the message of Christ. Not the message that we blow up things.
So I'm ripping this off from my favorite blog, megcabot.com, but check out this youtube video of a woman who teaches her cats to swim.
Let the record show that I am not that cat-weird. And they "glided beautifully through the water?" Lady, they were paddling like crazy to get away from you. And how about, "They are so beautiful. Like watching a ballerina." Um...no. It's like watching a bad episode on Animal Planet where you know the ending is not going to be happy. Cats don't like water; I don't care what this woman says. If her super hairy cat liked the water he'd be paddling for the diving board, not toward the ledge. Sure, they ocassionally enjoy playing in the toilet (who doesn't?), but they instinctively don't like getting wet. How many cats do you see tromping through puddles? Um...cats doing kitty jumps in the rain? And just exactly how often do you hear of feline casualities from pools? NEVER. And did you hear her say all FIVE of her cats had been in the pool? WHO in the world would come and swim in her pool? Can you imagine the filter quality? That thing's plugged up for good. Gross.
Finally, let me close by giving you a subliminal message (go buy my book this week) and another one for good measure (Brad Pitt, if you're reading this, call me.), and top it off with a cartoon my super talented friend Kate sent me.