Peyton Manning? Who's that?
No, I mean this guy:
Prince, of course. Duh.
But first, check out that skinny girl's skinny legs. What the heck? And then what exactly is going on with Prince's mouth in that pic? I dunno either. Anyway, Prince ROCKED the Super Bowl. WHERE has this guy been? I have missed him SO much. We used to have such good times together. Back in the late eighties. And the guy has STILL got it. Seriously, BEST Super Bowl half time show ever. And yes, he didn't exactly match. And the only wardrobe malfunction was that weird thing on his head in the beginning, but he was still fabulous.
There are plenty of other things I miss from the 80s. I miss Aqua Net before I knew what a fire hazard it was. Or when Spam was bad because it was made from a hideous combination of animal parts, and NOT because it meant you had to delete a bunch of emails.
Mostly I think I miss the music from the 80s. Remember "Walk the Dinosaur?" Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom. Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom ... Open the door, get on the floor. Everybody walk the dinosaur ... No, I have no idea what that means, but did we care? Nope. Did the lyrics come with an NC-17 rating? Nope. Did they insult every wife, daughter, or mother on the planet? No.What about Bon Jovi? LOVED them. And they've stayed together all these years. In a time when a successful Hollywood marriage is anything lasting beyond three months, that is an amazing accomplishment.
And then there're songs like "Paradise City" by GNR. Now, I still don't know where Paradise City is, and illegal things probably go on there, but that song has NEVER grown old. ( Unlike GNR lead singer, Axl Rose, who despite his "best" attempts, HAS grown old. Seriously, what happened, dude? Somebody call Dr. 90210.)
Or "Walk Like an Egyptian." Why? Why would I want to do that? And how do we know they walked with their hands and arms all bent? Can we really trust hieroglyphics? It's the Ancient equivalent to grafitti. Do you trust what's written on the bathroom walls? I should hope not. Do you think every name scrawled on there really IS a guaranteed good time? BUT STILL..."Walk Like an Egyptian" was a fun song with absolutely no meaning.
Today's music just does not compare. Just look at their band names: Creed, Stained, Snow Patrol. What is that? No, no, the Eighties were about band names that didn't make any sense. Like Flock of Seagulls. Or Kajagoogoo. Bananrama.
You know what happens to bands that pick real names? They have a few hits and then go on to be played on the easy listening channel, that's what. Two words for you, class of '07: Air Supply.
Well, I must go. I hear Purple Rain calling.