Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Photographic Proof Kids Are Scary
So Monday I stopped by a local junior high to talk to seventh, eighth, and ninth graders. It was interesting. (I doubt they'd say the same...)
Speaking to schools is not a comfortable feeling. Yeah, I do it every day as a teacher, but to go speak as someone who writes books...not too cozy. "Hey, kids, even though there are a 100 things you'd rather I discuss, let's talk about ME! And writing--everyone LOVES writing! Woo-hoo!" So as you look out into the audience, here's what you hope to see:
Well, minus some of the creepy leers. But look at that unbridled enthusiasm that just screams, "No, seriously, we'd love to hear you go on about yourself for ANOTHER hour! We could do this all day! Do you really have to go?"
But this is more like what you do see.
If you magnify that 50x, the whole back row is drooling out of boredom.
Okay, it wasn't THAT bad, but next time I think I'm going to have some tricks up my sleeve. Like give my entire schpiel on a unicycle. Everyone loves unicycles! Or I'll tell them that J.K. Rowling and I are total BFF's. We shop at Harrod's together all the time. Or I'll just hand out some Benjamins.
And thanks to the kids who came up after every session to talk to me. I know your principal paid you, but still. It was a nice touch. (No, seriously, you guys better keep on writing! And you know who you are!)
So then today my classroom got swarmed by a flock of students who look like this:
Hey, guys, some of you really need to look into getting your faces waxed. Girls, don't you want dates for prom? Take it from me, girls who need to shave their faces do not get the pick of the litter on razzle dazzle night.
Just kidding! Like I'd tell you if I had excessive facial hair! (Okay, I might not tell you, but you know I'd post pictures.)
And then look at this shot.
Look at the teachers in the background. The one on the left (Hello, Mr. Halevy!) is like, "Hark! There're wild animals in her classroom! Should we sound the alarm? Do we have an emergency response plan for this? Super Tall Teacher, you take the one with the wings and spandex, and I'll get the ones with tails sticking out of their drawers."
Actually no one came in to save me from wild beasts and bees. It kind of hurt my feelings. What if they hadn't been cast members of Jungle Book? What if they had been a secret animal/insect mafia, intent to cause funny business and hijinx for one short teacher? I would never have just walked on. I personally would've sprang into action. (And we wonder why I've yet to receive teacher of the decade?!)
Friday I will reveal the ultra cool celebrities (I mean TOP NOTCH!) I saw this past weekend. I've been sitting on it ALL WEEK!!! I have pictures and everything! Put on your thinking caps, because unless you've seen my pics on Facebook, you'll never guess!
Speaking to schools is not a comfortable feeling. Yeah, I do it every day as a teacher, but to go speak as someone who writes books...not too cozy. "Hey, kids, even though there are a 100 things you'd rather I discuss, let's talk about ME! And writing--everyone LOVES writing! Woo-hoo!" So as you look out into the audience, here's what you hope to see:
Well, minus some of the creepy leers. But look at that unbridled enthusiasm that just screams, "No, seriously, we'd love to hear you go on about yourself for ANOTHER hour! We could do this all day! Do you really have to go?"
But this is more like what you do see.
If you magnify that 50x, the whole back row is drooling out of boredom.
Okay, it wasn't THAT bad, but next time I think I'm going to have some tricks up my sleeve. Like give my entire schpiel on a unicycle. Everyone loves unicycles! Or I'll tell them that J.K. Rowling and I are total BFF's. We shop at Harrod's together all the time. Or I'll just hand out some Benjamins.
And thanks to the kids who came up after every session to talk to me. I know your principal paid you, but still. It was a nice touch. (No, seriously, you guys better keep on writing! And you know who you are!)
So then today my classroom got swarmed by a flock of students who look like this:
Hey, guys, some of you really need to look into getting your faces waxed. Girls, don't you want dates for prom? Take it from me, girls who need to shave their faces do not get the pick of the litter on razzle dazzle night.
Just kidding! Like I'd tell you if I had excessive facial hair! (Okay, I might not tell you, but you know I'd post pictures.)
And then look at this shot.
Look at the teachers in the background. The one on the left (Hello, Mr. Halevy!) is like, "Hark! There're wild animals in her classroom! Should we sound the alarm? Do we have an emergency response plan for this? Super Tall Teacher, you take the one with the wings and spandex, and I'll get the ones with tails sticking out of their drawers."
Actually no one came in to save me from wild beasts and bees. It kind of hurt my feelings. What if they hadn't been cast members of Jungle Book? What if they had been a secret animal/insect mafia, intent to cause funny business and hijinx for one short teacher? I would never have just walked on. I personally would've sprang into action. (And we wonder why I've yet to receive teacher of the decade?!)
Friday I will reveal the ultra cool celebrities (I mean TOP NOTCH!) I saw this past weekend. I've been sitting on it ALL WEEK!!! I have pictures and everything! Put on your thinking caps, because unless you've seen my pics on Facebook, you'll never guess!
2 Comments:
Silly Jen...I am NOT a celebrity...but I do appreciate the fact that your next blog will be dedicated to me! Oh, who am I kidding... I know it's not me, but I'll help you keep the mass of readers in suspense by not revealing who you saw!!
I work for a company that likes for its employees to go talk to students at local schools. I know it may feel like its all about you when you do things like that, but really, it isn’t. When an engineer, a writer, a lawyer or whatever stands in front of a room full of students and talks about what he or she does on the job, what was required to reach this point in the career as well as about the joys and hardships of the job, it is really about the students. These students are considering what they will do with their lives. They may look at what a writer has to say and think I’m never going to become a writer, but on the other hand, some of them may hear you talk about what you have been through and they will remember that when they start preparing to become a writer. However they look at what you have to say, they are getting a little bit of a glimpse into their future and it may be easier for them than what it was for you.
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