Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Danger! Danger!
So I'm a little grumpy.
And I've been watching too much Dr. Oz on Oprah. Because now everything I see is a potential health hazard. And I tend to obsess about that stuff. My new thing is aspartame. I drink Diet Dr. Pepper and Diet Coke. And it has aspartame. So this week at work I've had to spend a lot of time in the computer lab...with nothing better to do than to randomly Google things. And I checked into aspartame. I knew it wasn't good. But not only is it not good--it's very bad! And I always said, "One day they are going to realize that the stuff we've been drinking for years is hideous for us." Turns out I was right! (I hope I'm not psychic. I so do not have time for that.) So now I am going on a 60 day fast of aspartame. It's even in GUM!!! My favorite gum! It's EVERYWHERE. If you want to totally scare yourself, google the dangers of aspartame. I've recruited some friends and my brother into this aspartame ban. It's a 60 day challenge and we will be victorious.

Oh, my gosh. I would cut off my hand for a Diet Dr. Pepper right now.

Anyway, it should be easy. I mean, how hard is it to walk away from the Coke machine?
Seriously, I LOVE the burn as it goes down your throat--makes the eyes water!

Plus I'll be saving money.
I will probably cry when I empty out my two liter bottle tonight. Don't think I won't have a moment of silence because I will.

So if you're a diet drinker, too, you should join us. We can all be psychotically crabby together as we detox!

The other thing I'm miffed about is a little more serious.
Snow.
I have checked the Farmer's Almanac. I've checked the extended forecasts. I've mapped the stars and opened 200 persimmons. (Okay, not really on that last part). There is like zero chance of snow for my area in December. And January doesn't look too hot either. Is it too much to ask for a little frozen precipitation? Last year we got the best kind--I was at work and it came on suddenly. Like we had a mass evacuation. It took about an hour to get home (versus 25 minutes). It was perfect! WHERE IS THE LIFE THREATENING SNOW???

I'm sorry. But I think it's the aspartame that's getting to me. According to Google article No.468 I read, it's killed some of my brain cells, so I cannot be held responsible for all my actions.
You understand.
But over the next 60 days I'm going to try and get them back. The brain cells that is.
Okay, must go write a book or something.
And maybe drink something safe.
Like...water from the toilet.

  posted at 6:31 AM  
  14 comments



14 Comments:
At 10:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I was younger (many, many, MANY years ago) the big thing was sacchrine. We had it in everything. Tea, coke (okay...so it wasn't very tasty in coke, er, TAB...) anyway...they discovered it would cause cancer!!! Well, finally someone read the fine print, you know the kind they now read quickly on tv! Come to find out you had to inject 400 bottles of that stuff into your veins directly every hour to actually have the 1% chance of ever getting cancer from sacchrine.

Since then I don't believe anything I read about "potential dangers". If I did I would hide in a cave but I am sure something in there would be harmful too!

VIVA LA ASPERTAME!!! (Don't feel obligated to visit me in the "sanitarium"!)

PP

 
At 6:14 PM, Blogger WordVixen said...

*sigh* My sweetener of choice is stevia- no cals, great in tea, boosts the immune system (I swear, I never got colds or the flu when I was using stevia), all kinds of benefits. Problem? It can affect your fertility. And I'm trying to get pregnant.

I don't have to detox, but I was as addicted to that stuff as I am to chocolate and coffee!

 
At 7:08 PM, Blogger Oprah's Things said...

I think that it is lmost worse when we think that something is good and in reality it is bad for us. Great idea a everyone do a 60 day detox...it will be heard! Good Luck!

 
At 7:24 PM, Anonymous Rhonda said...

Concerning the snow--I think you need to consult an expert. I recommend Coach Laster. He never let us down.

 
At 9:50 AM, Anonymous Laura said...

So if we don't drink diet with aspertame, then we are left to the real drinks with all the calories and they aren't good for your either. Like isn't the trick to put a piece of meat with a coke and within a certain amount of time its dissolved? We're in a no win situation here! What happens after 60 days? Do you get to partake again or is the stuff gone for good?!

 
At 8:17 PM, Anonymous salle said...

JJ-day two....Salle, need, Diet, DP!....BAD! but i won't...i know your in as much pain as i am. I went to sonic today and ordered a rasberry ice tea. I looked up the calories and it's only 10 calories for a large...AT least you like unsweetened tea. The sweet tea at sonic...a large is 400 cal. I agree with peez, it's a lose lose situation...BUT i'm gonna do it for you!

 
At 8:20 PM, Blogger Jenny B. Jones said...

In sixty days I think you wake up looking like Heidi Klum. It's gonna be so worth it!

WordVixen, I have heard quite a bit about Stevia! So far they have not really found anything wrong with it. (apparently minus the snag you've mentioned)

Oh the joys of living in a toxic world! : )

And Rhonda, I am DEFINITELY watching the weather... And it's totally depressing me.

 
At 8:22 PM, Blogger Jenny B. Jones said...

Sal, you won't regret it!! You need to get some of that Stevia. Health food store! WE can do this! We can be strong.

Oh, my gosh. Tomorrow is Friday. I always celebrate that day with a Dt. Dr Pepper. Or two. Or four.

 
At 9:35 PM, Blogger Timothy Fish said...

And just think, now you can get it with not only aspartame, but chemical cherry and chemical chocolate flavoring. This has to be a conspiracy to turn us all into fruitcakes in time for Christmas. And I'm sure Red 40 is there to give us a shiny red nose and antlers.

 
At 2:08 AM, Blogger WordVixen said...

Jen- If you're interested in the stevia route, you might be interested in Celestial Seasoning's Zingers To Go. Same idea as Crystal Light (those little individual tube things that you pour in a bottle of water) only sweetened with stevia. I loved those suckers and have a huge stash of them... that I can't drink. :-(

 
At 10:47 PM, Anonymous Jessie N. said...

My mom loves Diet Coke and she gets headaches when she doesnt drink it. But thats awesome that you can give that up! Is it hard? We had to give up our favorite candy for a week in swimming last year and I just about died. But that was one week. 60 DAYS?!

 
At 7:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

okay well I'm going to be in the CONTROL GROUP for this little study. I'll keep drinking diet soda (specifically diet mt. dew) and since I refuse to google the dire effects of artificial sweeteners we'll just have to see what happens... let me know when you wake up with perky boobs and a german accent... and a scary looking (but well endowed) husband (who loves you very much)

 
At 1:01 PM, Blogger pam t. said...

You can still drink Diet Coke - just get the one with Splenda. Years from now they'll probably say that's just as bad or worse for you, but it will make you feel better about it in the meantime. Also, Diet Rite is made with Splenda and it comes in several flavors... the cherry cola is my favorite...

 
At 10:47 PM, Anonymous Aurianna P.C. said...

we are in definite need of some life threatening snow :D

 

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About Me


Name:
Jenny B. Jones

Location:
Arkansas, US

I am a teacher in one of the largest high schools in the state. I'm also a writer of Young Adult novels and am currently working on a brand new series. Book three in the Katie Parker Production series, The Big Picture, will hit shelves in April 2008. Stay tuned!

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