Just a quick post. It's only 7:44 p.m. here, but I should've been in bed two hours ago. Seems Early Bird Sales (I capitalize it because it's a holy time for my family members) start even EARLIER this year--four a.m. If you check the JCPenney online ad it says "Open At Four" then there's an asterisk. The fine print reads: Unless prohibited by state. The shopping hour of four a.m. is so indecent some states have OUTLAWED it!!! Unfortunately Arkansas isn't one of them. . .

So in a few hours I guess I will be getting back up. I will brush my teeth, throw on the sweats closest to my reach, and head out the door and join the rest of the ladies of my family. And I will wonder again why we don't make it a gift card holiday.

A few years ago on Black Friday I was walking around the juniors department of a store, and I felt this pinching in the buttal area of my jeans. (If buttal isn't a word, it should be.) The pinching turned into burning, but I just kept walking around, despite the fact that invisible hot pokers were apparently hiding in my pants. So we finish shopping and run to the car to drive to the next spot, the sun still not even up yet. I sit down, strap myself in. At the first light, I feel something different in the buttal area. Tiny legs. I raise out of the seat, yank my jeans down, and there...is a wasp.

Yup. Trying to hibernate in my jeans.
Either it stung itself to death or I suffocated it with my butt flab.
And no, the other cars at the stop light didn't see. It was too FREAKIN' EARLY!

So if you are shopping on Black Friday beware of people stealing parking spots, pressure to buy the latest Elmo who can do only God knows what this year (and frankly until it's CLEAN MY HOUSE ELMO, I'm not interested), and...most of all do not ignore any burning sensations.

May the force be with us.
See you next Monday.