Monday, December 10, 2007
Worst Album Covers Ever
I'm a little late on the blog today. Sighhh...see, I wasn't supposed to have school today and I was going to have all day long to blog.
Then my dreams were dashed. Crushed like the cigarette butt of the teenagers who hide in the bathroom during lunch. Shattered like Britney Spears reputation. Hiijacked like the poor guys in the Tahoe victimized by Lindsay Lohan.

I would explain, but let's just say I have been having some really mean thoughts about some over-confident weathermen.

I thought I would share images of this super valuable power point I was sent. Pictures by who knows, and probably obtained and now blogged about illegally. Narration by Jenny B. Jones.

"I owe everything I am to Zip Zap Rap. He changed my life, my rhymes, and made me aware of the importance of color coordination. ZZR truly is a turntable slave. And a fashion victim."
--50 Cent

"I am Tino. And my shorts are so tight, I'm having to hold my stomach so my guts don't rupture."

"I told you I wanted Clinique Robin's Egg Blue eyeshadow duo for my sixteen birthday. NOT another stupid song! And are you sure you're only nineteen?"

"Hi, I'm Joyce. I love PBS, Harlequin romance novels, clipping coupons, and beautiful silk flowers. If you send me $19.95, you'll not only get my two record special, but you'll also get my 20 page booklet, "Everyday Afro."

"Oh, my gosh. And I thought I was the only one who forgot my shirt. We're soooo silly! Let's giggle together!"

I hope they're talking about Jesus.

Is Karatist even a word?

The Handless Organist? How long did the title committee spend on that one?

Great--now I'll be humming the title track "Satan is Real" ALLL day. Good job, Louvin brothers, good job.

Didn't you always wonder what happened to Children of the Corn?

"Hi, my name is Delores. And I have a hairspray addiction. Please buy my album so I can afford some treatment."

Before braces...before fire alarms...before more realistic fake tattoos, there was Tex Williams

The Brailettes, along with the Handless Organist, later filed a class action lawsuit against the record label for lack of creativity and polical correctedness.

"I don't even know this guy. Get your hands off me!"
-Big Lass, Bonny Lass

Have a happy Monday. I'm off to drown my sorrows in some more chocolate. And maybe fire up the LPs.

  posted at 2:42 PM  

At 5:35 PM, Blogger Timothy Fish said...

I'm almost certain that my mother has a copy of the Braillettes Album. The blind girl in pink seems formiliar. Now I'll probably digging through her pile of records when I am up there for Christmas.

At 8:25 PM, Blogger Chris said...

Ok. Those are really funny.

At 9:22 PM, Anonymous Alexis Z said...

You get very creative.

;) That 'lets giggle together'
was the funniest.

At 10:21 PM, Anonymous Katie J. said...

Those were really good. Joyce looks like she knows how to party. I especially like the fifty cent tag in the corner. Nobody can put a price on Joyce, though. Joyce is priceless.

But my favorite is how Tex Williams can find the space to put the word "smoke" on his album at least six times with three cigarettes included as well.

At 5:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha, nice! The 50cent quote was pricless! And OMgoodness! I was so mad that it didn't snow Sunday night!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it! I did my snow dance and sang my rian song in hopes that it would freeze EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!! But of course, my cold, winter snow day hopes were crushed! Ya, the Tex Williams one was really great too!!!

At 5:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

O wait, that last entry was my me, Alyssa G.

At 6:23 PM, Blogger Sara H. said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 6:27 PM, Anonymous Sara H. said...

me too! no snow on sunday night totally bummed me out...i woke up monday morning and turned on the news right away. but unfortunately no schools are closed and i almost started crying...not really. but i felt like it. but i would like to say that the title committee for the handless organist need to be fired. they are almost too unoriginal for their own good :]

At 7:49 PM, Anonymous Montana L. said...

i must say the boys with there shirts off make me uncomfortable
maybe we should blame them for no snow
or tex williams b.c he is killing the ozone layer with all that smoking shame shame

anyways i love the pics very classic

At 8:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think if anyone is killing the ozone it's Delores with her hairspray addiction. And I'd bet most of these folks are wearing polyester...and it's not helping the environment either!

At 3:43 PM, Anonymous chipotle said...

Orleans! I had that album! They did "Dance with Me -- I want to be your partner, Can't you see, the music is just starting, pick the beat up, and lift your fee-eet up, Dance with me!"

We made up several other verses for that song, but few of them would be appropriate for this blog (Jenny B isn't old enough). Sorry. But I can hum it for you!


At 10:59 PM, Anonymous ashley e. said...

that is so funny.i especially liked the one with Jesus. ha.

At 3:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am Brynhildur. And I am laughing so hard, I have to hold my stomach so my guts don't rupture. That is so funny. My friend and I are always laughing at it. You are blessed by God to have such a gift for humor!



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About Me

Jenny B. Jones

Arkansas, US

I am a teacher in one of the largest high schools in the state. I'm also a writer of Young Adult novels and am currently working on a brand new series. Book three in the Katie Parker Production series, The Big Picture, will hit shelves in April 2008. Stay tuned!

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