Monday, February 25, 2008
Back to Life
First of all, thanks to the flu, I taught one single day last week. And even though we got this MIRACULOUS snow day with nothing but rain, which meant I could've gone to the mall guilt-free in between GMA and Oprah, I was logging in more couch time clutching a box of Puffs. Seriously, my butt bonded more time with the couch last week than in the last few years combined. I think there's a permanent sag in the middle.

Here are a few things I found help with the flu.
1. A digital thermometer. I became obsessed with taking my own temp. I would play this game where I would feel my own head, guess a number (101.2!), and then fire up the thermometer. If I was wrong, I would continue checking my temp for a good hour knowing I'd be right at some point. My TV selections were low, so one does what one has to to entertain oneself. And I did have a new Cosmo Girl to read, but Hannah Montana was on the cover, so I couldn't bring myself to read it. Miley Cyrus is a little abrasive when you're sick and your temperature won't cooperate.

2. Diet Dr. Pepper. Sickness is always an excuse to fall off the wagon. Nobody holds you responsible for your own actions. Also nobody holds you to any standard of personal hygiene, but I'll spare you the details.

3. Chips Ahoy. Enough said.

4. Kleenex with lotion. During a break in fever, I ran to the grocery store and bought myself some serious tissues. The man who bagged my groceries starting singing Puff the Magic Dragon. I didn't really have a response to that, so in lieu of kind words, I just tried not to breathe on him instead. It was the best I could do.

5. A library of things recorded or DVRd. The statistical chances of TV being to your liking when you are quarantined to your house are about as good as your fortune cookie numbers matching up with the lottery. I thought daytime TV mostly targeted stay at home moms. If so, then why were my viewing choices Bride of Chucky, The Fog, and an American Haunting? In the daytime! Of course there's always the two hour birthing block of A Baby Story on TLC, a television concept that still eludes me and has me reaching for the remote faster than I can sneeze.

6. Midol. I don't know why, but Midol is just the wonder drug. I didn't have cramps. I didn't have mood swings. But if you want to get a good night's sleep and forget about snot for a while, I highly recommend it. Some people prefer chugging NyQuil, but I refuse to drink stuff the color of antifreeze.

So everyone I know was out this week with the flu. Beware. It's evil, evil stuff. I strongly suggest you gather some movies, some Mylie Cyrus-less magazines, and begin stock piling some things on the DVR. When your day comes you will want better entertainment than water births and murderous dolls with bad dental hygiene.

Finally, a friend (who also has the flu) and I are crazy about this commercial. Top O' the mornin' to ya...

That makes anyone feel better!

  posted at 7:05 AM  
  4 comments



4 Comments:
At 4:21 PM, Blogger Brittanie said...

Jen- I am sorry you had the flu. It has been going around the office where I work and I really don't want to get it. Tell your students to wash their hands lots. lol When I volunteered at an elementary school the teacher had a big thing of the hand gel the kids could use. Having a science degree I am now aware that just plain soap and water is good most of the time. :)

 
At 12:23 AM, Anonymous natalie said...

Perhaps some H2Omm would help with your flu**:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oU_wpQkGr1s&feature=related

**sarcasm.

Sometimes when we get bored, my best friend and I like to sit around and think of stuff we could invent to rip off people who love to spend money. H2Omm. Why wasn't my brain working that day?! :)

I'll keep you updated when I finish book 2. They just broke up. What gives? I just joined a book club and we're reading a smartie allegory book. I try to read it, but I would rather read New Moon instead. Just like how I try to get into smart TV, but only want to watch The Hills. It is pathetic. My friends keep trying to make excuses for me like, "well you work with teens a lot. You are just trying to be aware of teen culture." Um, yeah. That's totally it. Hope you feel better!! (Btw - Diet Dr. Pepper is so good, I never buy it. I swear I could drink a whole case. I'm a recovering addict, but I know my limits.)

 
At 5:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you can always call me when your sick and you need something...one of us will go to the store or get whatever you need...it's been strep throat @ the kelso's...hope u r better.....

 
At 10:34 PM, Blogger Heather said...

As a fellow flu sufferer last week, I would also like to add that another thing you can't live without when you have the flu is a good blanket. I mean, my poor little sweatshirt Razorback blanket was my BFF. I drug that thing from my bed to the couch, back to my bed. I was like a 32 year old Linus from Charlie Brown toting my "blankie" around. Ridiculous! Glad we're BOTH better! That was sheer misery!

 

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About Me


Name:
Jenny B. Jones

Location:
Arkansas, US

I am a teacher in one of the largest high schools in the state. I'm also a writer of Young Adult novels and am currently working on a brand new series. Book three in the Katie Parker Production series, The Big Picture, will hit shelves in April 2008. Stay tuned!

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